Sunday, April 19, 2009

pecking order

It's funny how men and women establish a pecking order. Just want to comment on male pecking order for now. This is the second time this kind of situation has happened to me in one week and which forces me to note it and now I will write about it.

Take man A. and man B. Let's say they are at an art opening, and man A. has his girlfriend lady C., they are side by side - talking to man B. is solo. The catalyst of the want or need to establish a pecking order comes from one individual's insecurity in the group.

Note: In many of my circles of friends this does not happen and I spend time with many people who do not even hint at forming a hierarchy of the pecking order. These friends or people who do not consider the pecking order because they are secure in their nature and ways are my favorite and to me, the best kind of people. I have noticed these individuals will look more at what positive characteristics are in the provided friend group, instead of feeling the need to establish said pecking order.

So in this case man B. see's something that man A. has that he wants, or feel's bad that he doesn't have (like good looks, character, or a hot woman beside him- whatever it may be). Man B. starts to feel a little bit insecure or lowered in self esteem and will react, in order to quell his own demons and fill in his insecure hole. He will do this by establishing a pecking order amongst the two individuals.

Note: this does not apply when man A. and man B. are alone. It only applies to situations of 3 or more people.

Man B. will react by making fun of man A. in a playful way to establish the pecking order. The comments could be anywhere from passive aggressive to aggressive eg: I don't think what you are saying makes sense (a passive challenge), to -that sounds so dumb! (just plain out aggressive). When either comment is answered with faintheartedness by man A. a pecking order is established.

One must not let this happen as it is seen in any others eyes (lady C. in this case or other individuals in company) as a weakness in man A. and a crowning title to man B.
Man A. must react in turn aggressively point out that a challenge was made by man B. Do this as fast as one can and as intelligent as one can be. If man A. is witty enough he can quickly deduce a situation and exposing man B.'s insecurity. It is best for man A. to expose and deflate the peckers as soon as possible.

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